Ask Dr. Zaius

"I will attempt to help you - even though you are simple animals, like dogs," begins this website, which offers advice for the lovelorn from none other than Planet of the Apes' Dr. Zaius. Some of the questions are a little risque, but most are tame enough (" Are bald men really more virile?") and the good doctor's advice is almost always on the money - but only if you're an ape.

Hunter Dan

Hunter Dan 8" tall action figures, billed online as the ultimate hunting gift, come with authentic replica gear such as hunting vests, decoys, and guns. The doll, says the site, offers unlimited possibilities for the young hunting enthusiast. Like shooting pretend bullets and arrows at your sister's Barbie, in anticipation of someday growing up big and tall and being able to really shoot things that are actually alive such as deer, birds, and that pesky neighbor that never turns down his stereo. Hunter Dan - an 8" tall advertisement for the NRA.

Freakies

If you were a kid in the 70's, you'll probably remember enjoying the sugary delights of Freakies cereal. Actually, the cereal wasn't that great, but the commercials and toy prizes were what got you hooked - or at least that's what happened in my case. Original Freakies' creator Jackie End has revived the characters (if not the cereal) at her website, where you can read bios on each of the Freakies, hear the original theme song, order a video of the 70's television ads, and buy official t-shirts. About the only thing you won't find here is a substitute for that original sugar high, but hearing the Freakies belt out their theme song is close.

Modern Moist Towelette Collecting

Who doesn't love moist towelettes? I know I do. I pine for the days when Kentucky Fried Chicken gave them out with each and every bucket of chicken, and I know you probably do as well. And that's why you need to visit this site, which is broken down into several sections: The Gallery, The Moist Towelette Awards, Why Moist Towelettes, Q&A, and Approved Links. While every section is fun to explore, the one you need to check out first, of course, is The Gallery. Therein, dozens of different towelettes from all over the world are displayed for your perusal, including the fabled Wet-nap and towelettes from both Kenny Roger's Roasters and Big Boy restaurants.

Weird Recipes

This website, billed as the gross but tasty food page" offers such delicious-sounding recipes as "Cheddar Coffee," "Mustard Crunchies," and "Sunflower Worcestershire Delight." Why not treat your friend or loved one to an exquisite seven-course holiday dinner featuring all of the taste treats found on this website? They'll remember you forever, and you'll get that inner glow that let's you know you've helped expand their palette - and, chocolate-covered worms not withstanding, what better gift could you give than that?